It's been a pretty busy last few weeks here. Lots happening and lots to talk about...
First, MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HANUKKAH!! I hope y'all enjoyed your holiday as much as I did. The few days off of work was much needed and much deserved. I got some pretty cool stuff: a brand new North Face from my folks, my Clay Matthews jersey (finally!!!), a whole mess of gift cards, some money, a pair of of Swarovski angel wings from my grandma, some new jeans and some new moccs...and that's just a short list. The two most special things I got though were from my partner and his sister, brother-in-law and nephews. His sister and her family got us our very first Christmas tree ornament! It's too cute (see upper left picture). I need a new one every year now!!! My partner made me a heart shaped engraved jewelry box (see picture to the right). I actually cried. I was so moved. I love him so very much. But, HANDS DOWN, the best gift I got this year was lots of time and fun memories with the love of my life and my amazing, wonderful family. I'm so truly blessed. Thank you for sending us your son, Lord. Thank you for your countless blessings!! (**We also found out that my partner, myself and the entire Heidel/Miller/Semmann/Harte clan will be taking our holiday festivities down to Playa del Carmen in the Riviera Maya in 2013!! WOOWOOOO!!!! Just the motivation I need to stay on track and get my ass in shape!!)
Second, I need to address a few things regarding the tragedy that occurred in Newtown, CT nearly two weeks ago. First and foremost, my heart, my thoughts and my prayers continue to be with the victims, their families, friends and loved ones, the survivors of Sandy Hook Elementary School and the first responders. My heart aches and bleeds for them; my eyes have shed countless tears. There are many political agendas that have and will continue to arise in wake of this senseless massacre and I will not get into those now. I can and will discuss those P.O.V.'s at a different time. However, I will address the media and how furious and disgusted I am with how they handled the entire coverage of the situation. Granted that when things like this happen, they are extremely fluid situations in the days, weeks and even months to follow. Lots of information is transferred and received from countless sources, and, truly, the media is a supply and demand business. BUT when you are giving out such incorrect and inaccurate information to the general public (i.e. releasing the name, residence and photo of an innocent person that you claim to be the perpetrator without ANY appropriate law enforcement confirmation), that IS NOT okay. 1st Amendment rights my ass! Not only did they disclose information and bring accusations about an innocent person, they did it to the brother of the actual guilty party! So not only has his reputation and privacy been violated and exploited, he has to live with such a weight that his own blood shed the blood of so many children and women, including his mother and himself! I truly hope that young man files a lawsuit because that was totally out of line. Also, this interviewing of children. Really? I mean, REALLY? I'm sorry but I'm so sickened that the media and the parents of these children put these traumatized little ones in that position - to recall something they should have never gone through in the first place. ANYTHING for a story, a bottom line and a little limelight, I suppose. Ugh...it's enough to make me gag. There's so much about this horrific tragedy that makes me cringe. But for now, I want to continue to focus on the lives of these precious, innocent children and the brave women that paid the price so that their memory will live on forever. We will NEVER forget.
Third, my prayers and condolences with the family of Jennifer Sebena, the Wauwatosa Police Officer that was gunned down in the early morning of Christmas Eve. Sadly, it has come to show today that police have taken her husband into custody and charged him with 1st degree intentional homicide. The local media hasn't released a ton of information about him, only that he was a Marine, that he served two tours in Iraq and that he was wounded during his second. Time will tell his motive or maybe if this could be a result of serious PTSD. Who knows. All I know is that something has to be truly wrong with a human being and their psyche in order to commit such violence against a woman or a child. We are seeing too much of this in 2012. I hope and pray that everyone add more patience, kindness, respect, empathy and love to their 2013 New Years Resolutions. It would make the world a much better and a more peaceful place to be.
This weekend should be an exciting one!! My dear friend/cousin/sister from a different womb and her fiance are tying the knot on Saturday and it's going to be one hell of a party!!! I can't wait! Then a few days of R&R for me and my partner will follow. I'm currently trying to sneak a few extra days off so we can possibly get away for a little bit. LOL!! Wish me luck...
Well, if I don't get back on this thang before the 31st, I wish you all the very best of life in 2013. I wish you all happiness, health, love, patience, understanding, security and multitudes of blessings from above. Be safe and responsible and have a hella good time if you are planning on celebrating!! LOTS of parties and fun stuff going down, so maybe I'll see many of you out and about in the MKE area. If not, all of my love to you in the new year.
As many of you are well aware, I have struggled with anorexia, bulimia, BDD & BED for over 13 years now (over half of my life). I am a strong activist and supporter of NEDA, OA, ABA and eating disorder awareness, prevention and treatment. While I have now been purge free for just over a year (hooray for me!!), the illness I have suffered and the choices I have made affect my everyday health and will continue to effect my health in the long term. When you're in the disease, there are a lot of symptoms and consequences that you become oblivious to or block out completely due to the dysmorphia and denial. From hair loss to odd hair growth; to kidney/liver/pancreatic/cardiac malfunction, abnormality and infection; to hypokalemia; to esophageal deterioration and distress; to bladder incapacity; to constipation; to hypothalamic dysfunction; to low blood pressure; to acid reflux; to osteopenia; to memory loss; to secondary amenorrhoea and menorrhagia; to muscle atrophy; to sleep and conscious apnea; to pigment loss; to severe chronic and acute dehydration - I've had to suffer through and see it all and still, sadly, have to continue to struggle with almost all of these things probably for the rest of my life. Some things have gotten better. Fortunately, I'm still alive and I still have all of my teeth in tact and in pretty tip top shape (most ED afflicted aren't as lucky). Those are many of the physical ailments I have endured. I haven't even touched the psychological and social aspects (drug addiction, isolation, suicidal ambition - all of which I have successfully conquered). I still, however, deal with depression, anxiety, "ED Head", etc. I wish I could go back to "middle school Megan" and tell/show her the future shitstorm that would ensue. I would show her even the dumb little things that NO ONE would ever consider. I would show her that because of my actions, days like today, it takes me HOURS just to warm up after only standing outside for five minutes. How dumb does that sound? Would ANYONE ever think of such things being a future consequence to their choices? There should be fine print for eating disorders and it should have come to me all those years ago.
Hello homiez. Sorry it's been a while. I've had a busy and exciting past few days! To those of you who are my FB pals, this blog will probably sound like a broken record so if you choose not to read this, I will not be offended in the least. But guess who put $20 into a quarter slot machine at Potowonami, got down to $1.75 and ended up walking away $760 richer? Oh yeah...THAT WOULD BE ME!!!! You guys, I can't describe that feeling. Yeah, sure...it wasn't a million dollars. But really, who's going to complain about earning an extra $760 sitting on a chair for 10-15 minutes? I sure as hell ain't! I would like to think it was all karma from not winning the Power Ball last week like I was supposed to. LOL!! But no, really...it was quite incredible. I immediately cashed out and ran (yes, almost a full sprint) over to my partner and his cousin who were at another table playing a card game. We all took a double take at that ticket!! When my partner said, "Way to go, babe. I'm proud of you", that's when it became real. That's the moment I realized I wasn't seeing things. But walking around a casino at 3am surrounded by mostly weirdos with that much loot in your clutch is quite flustering. I have never wanted to get out of a place faster in my entire life. LOL!! This money came at a VERY good time for my partner and myself. We had both just gotten paid on Friday from work and we both had several things we needed to pay off. I took all my winnings (except for a little cash I left out for myself) to the bank right away that morning. Most of all, I'm excited to have more than enough money to be able to buy Christmas gifts for the people I love. There is nothing I love more than watching the people I love most open a gift I put all of my thought and heart into and watching the looks on their faces. For me, giving is WAY better than receiving. I've always felt that way. But now the challenge is what the hell to get everyone! The people God has placed in my life, I swear, are the hardest people in the entire world to shop for! Hahahaha!!! I try to be creative whenever possible, but sometimes that is a challenge too. But we shall see. I will begin my gift research today.
And a very happy 5th birthday to a very special little man this past Friday. Your Daddy and I love you and miss you very much.
Until next time, kittens... #stayclassy #filthyneversleeps #meow
Today, I have decided to start fresh. For the last year or so now, I have been reading the public blog belonging to the mother of my partner's daughter. Many of you have been reading it too and have been getting just as nauseated from it as I have been. The only reason I ever started reading it was to keep tabs on the well-being of a very special little girl - her progress and her life - since her mother has been withholding her from her father. But my simple plan of just "checking in" turned into so much more as I read further into her writings. It has managed to ruin my life and my attitude. It has caused me to act out in response and maybe even say some things that I shouldn't have said. The fact that I even played into the rants, ramblings and, pardon my French, the complete and utter bullshit of such a homicidal schizo-sociopath was one of the biggest mistakes I could have ever made. While I'm glad I made myself aware of the person she is, I refuse to allow her to continue to ruin my life. She has already ruined my partner's and his daughter's lives enough. I will no longer support her exploitation of their lives and I will no longer allow her to exploit mine. Today, I will no longer be reading her non-sense. Well, I may check in once in a while to see if there is anything new on my partner's daughter. But that is it. I will no longer comment on her blogs. I will no longer read so far into them that they break me down into tears. I will use my energy, instead, to continue to help my partner in his not-so-easy quest to, once again, be united with his baby girl. I will use my energy to remain the positive person I always was before she attempted to knock me down. I will use my energy to be thankful for what I have and who I have. Life is far too short to do otherwise.
But, if any of you guys are interested in reading a blog chock full of whining, complaining, exploitative lies, bitching, homophobic agendas, homicidal plots and horrifying grammar, PLEASE, continue to read it. LOL!! Enjoy yourselves.
"Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate."
Above is one of my most favorite and cherished quotes of all time. If I tried to put it into my own words, I would fail. It is perfection. Being human has to be the most difficult job in the entire universe. But finding gratitude in each day regardless is spectacular. To have gratitude even in sorrow, trials, hardships and adversity is essential. Gratitude only expressed in times of happiness, success and laughter is obnoxiously selfish.
Challenge yourself each day. Place in writing or say aloud one thing each day that you have gratitude towards. Celebrate Thanksgiving each and every day.
I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday yesterday. Mine was filled with lots of family and lots of love and I hope each of you experienced the same.
Well, after being at home sick for the past two days, I'm back at work - sucking on Halls and sluggin' apple juice like there's no tomorrow. Pay day will definately hurt next week.
Seeing as tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I would like to take a few moments just to say how grateful, thankful and blessed I am to have the most incredible family & friends in the entire world. You guys make my heart beat and put the pep in my step. In the last 7 years, our family has suffered some key losses. So this Thanksgiving, I give thanks that even though they have gone before me, I was blessed enough to have traveled this road with them, if only for a brief time. Auntie Jenny, Papa, Great Grandma and Gramps - I miss you all each day, I love you and thank you for blessing my life with yours.
So, I hope everyone has a blessed holiday tomorrow. Soak in all of the love and memories you can, for you never know when you will no longer have the opportunity.
Happy eating and cheers to the crash diets to follow!
So, late Friday nite I began getting sick. It is just getting progressively worse now and I feel like such shit. Phlegm, cough, sore throat, achy...YUCK!! I hope this all will subside soon. I feel so gross. At least The Pack pulled it off today, right? Currently, I'm curled up in bed watching Sunny reruns. I will give an update tomorrow. Until next time, kittens... #stayclassy #filthyneversleeps #meow
I'm having actual physical issues typing this blog today. My hands are shaking - you'd think I was standing outside in subzero temperatures right now. I feel like I'm about to vomit. That is not an exaggeration either. If you're wondering why I feel this way, let me give you a taste...
My partner has a 13-year-old daughter. While she is extremely bright and beautiful, she has had to deal with a lot of turmoil in her young life. Sadly, her mother is a huge culprit to said turmoil. Most of you reading this know me quite well. You know that I try to see the good in all things and in all people. With this woman, however, I simply just cannot. In fact, I truly believe that her name should appear beside the Merriam-Webster definitions of evil, psychotic and sociopath. This woman, or lack thereof, has a public blog. On this blog, she has managed to create erroneous accusations against my partner, his family and myself - accusations that destroy character and destroy lives. She has even gone so far as to describe, in detail, how she has fantasized murdering both my partner and his mother and how she'd dispose of my partner's remains. Today, she managed to sink herself even further by saying that she prays (yes, PRAYS) for me to get sexually violated and taken advantage of by my partner and get pregnant with a daughter, only to have that child raped in the future.
I'm sorry and forgive me if I'm wrong here, but does this sound like a sane person to ANY of you? How a court could grant sole custody and control of any child's well being to a person like this is beyond me. Not only do I fear for my own sanity, the sanity of my partner and his family and their personal safety, I fear the most for my partner's daughter. The brainwashing and emotional and physical pain that little girl has endured and must endure from her own mother is sickening.
Yes, while my partner may have made some mistakes in his past, I stand behind him 100%. He is a GOOD, LOVING, LOYAL & DEVOTED father. It shows in how much his children adore him. He gushes about them every chance he gets and misses them dearly. I would do ANYTHING to change the circumstances right now. But sadly, certain people are simply disgusting, vindictive and all-around liars. I guess I'm just at a loss of words now. I am completely numb. Where do I go from here?
I have MANY friends who are single parents. Sometimes, relationships and marriages just don't work out. But, at the end of the day, it's about your children! It's NOT about past petty bullshit and issues you personally have with that other person. It's about co-parenting the best way you know how for the good of the child/children. It's about giving them the best life possible and the best definition of family. Evidently, some people just don't get that and would rather take on the notion of being selfish instead. While you are stuck trying to hurt the other parent in spite and it's working, you are hurting your child more. You are also insulting your child! Are you kidding me!?!
I really have nothing more to say right now. To go into the entire story behind this subject would be out of line and inappropriate, so I refuse to. I will not exploit my partner or his daughter any more than her mother already has.
Feel free to share your thoughts. I just wanted to share with you a day in my life. Cute, right?
And to the abundant words of advice and support I've already gotten on this subject via my Facebook homies...THANK YOU. I hope none of you ever have to deal with anyone or anything remotely like this. I wish this upon no one. She has managed to make our lives a living hell.
After an amazing weekend full of lots of fun and lots of love, I begin this new week not only freezing to my bones, but by starting to feel sick as well. This last year, I have barely gotten sick at all! Usually, I'm ill with sinus infections, the flu, pneumonia and strep a few times a year. My man must be sharing all of his strong immunities with me - and I'll take 'em!!
Hopefully, my fog will lift soon and I'll be healthy for the upcoming holidays. My Ama even called me this morning to ask if my partner and I will help set up her big tree this week. Oh boy...
Hope ya'll have a good day and hopefully my next 6.5 hours of work will fly by fast. I want to go back to sleep. I want to crawl into my bed and not move for a day and a half.
Today would have been the 60th birthday of my partner's father. He passed away almost 9 years ago. There was a mass held in his honor this morning at his family's church. I took the opportunity to go to mass with his mother and sister. Even though I had never met his father, it is very evident that my partner is much like him in many ways - so it is almost like I do know him in some strange, small way. Not only that, it was important to me to show my love and support to a man and a family who loves me so very much. As my partner and I were discussing the mass this morning before I left, he was questioning how, by going to mass, his mother feels more of a connection to his father and how she has increased her fellowship within the church since his passing. It was a valid question, but it was also a simple answer: COPING.
Everyone experiences grief and pain, and everyone deals with their grief and pain in their own way. It's called COPING. Each person has their own specific coping mechanisms to process and deal with their past and their present, in hopes that it may heal their future. Solace, even if only for a moment, is found in countless ways - some good and some bad. Many, like my partner's mother, find solace in The Lord and in prayer. They cope by connecting deeper with The Spirit and exercising their faith. After all, The Lord asks us to ( 1 Peter 5:7 - NIV).
But so often people ask, "Why pray to someone you can't even see; to someone/something that is not tangible; to someone who won't answer back?" On paper, all of these points have merit. However, and I speak for all Christians, we have faith: faith that our Lord hears us, faith that our Lord will respond to our prayers in His own time and in His own way to the good of His plan for our lives, faith that our Lord keeps His promises, faith that He has brought our loved ones' souls to Him in Heaven and that one day, he will join our souls with them again someday.
PRAYER IS POWERFUL. PRAYER WORKS. Try it sometime, regardless if you are Christian or not. Seriously. Ask The Lord for some guidance in your life. If you are expecting an immediate answer, don't hold your breath. He will show you His answer in His own way and at a time that will best suit you and the loved ones around you. His answers may come in weird ways. His answers may not be the answers you wanted to get. But, regardless, they are answers and they are for our own good.
Growing up in the church, as I'm sure many of you have as well, we were taught a very special song from a very young age. It is called, "What A Friend We Have In Jesus". It is one of those songs I will remember for the rest of my life and how true it is! Sometimes, when I'm in a rut, it just pops into my head. Funny how the brain works, right? No matter where I am in this life or what my problem is or even in times to rejoice, I always have a friend who I can go to. For me, for many and for my partner's mother, that is an awesome feeling and a feeling we can always take comfort in. What a special way to cope.
ANCHOR DEEP; PRAY HARD. Those were wise words that were spoken to me in my sophomore year in high school during my religion class by Rev. John Moldenhauer. Those words have never left my mind in ten years. They will continue to make up my foundation and I hope that you may strengthen yours with those words as well.
Well, if you haven't figured it out by now, I'm Megan and this is my blog. It is a public forum for to speak my innermost feelings onto the interwebz and I will treat it as such.
If you already know me and/or are in my life, congratulations and you're welcome. If not, well, then let me give you a brief rundown:
I'm 26 from Wiscompton
I'm awesome
Loyalty, honesty and integrity are my strong suits
I am happily divorced and I'm madly in love with a pretty great dude who just so happens to be my soulmate, so back off
I'd drop the world for my family and my friends in a heartbeat
I HATE ignorant people
I'm adopted
My life has changed immensely in the last year and I couldn't be more grateful
Bad grammar, different foods touching on my plate and backwards toilet paper rolls are my major pet peeves and irritate me to no end - (also, don't call me at home and ask me if I'm at home because I'll tear out your throat)
Music is my serenity
I'm a Third Party, pro-life, pro-Cannabis, LGBT supporting, pro-Concealed Carry, pro-government shrinkage Christian and proud of it
I have the most beautiful, incredible and talented friends and family in the whole wide world - FACT
Bears
Beets
Battlestar Galactica
That about sums it up. I look forward to lively and intelligent discussions with you all regarding my future blog entries.
Until then...stay classy.
#filthyneversleeps
Love, Megan
**If you are just dying to know more about me and things that keep me interested in this so called life, feel free to check me out and follow me on Pinterest!www.pinterest.com/milwaukeemegz
First, MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HANUKKAH!! I hope y'all enjoyed your holiday as much as I did. The few days off of work was much needed and much deserved. I got some pretty cool stuff: a brand new North Face from my folks, my Clay Matthews jersey (finally!!!), a whole mess of gift cards, some money, a pair of of Swarovski angel wings from my grandma, some new jeans and some new moccs...and that's just a short list. The two most special things I got though were from my partner and his sister, brother-in-law and nephews. His sister and her family got us our very first Christmas tree ornament! It's too cute (see upper left picture). I need a new one every year now!!! My partner made me a heart shaped engraved jewelry box (see picture to the right). I actually cried. I was so moved. I love him so very much. But, HANDS DOWN, the best gift I got this year was lots of time and fun memories with the love of my life and my amazing, wonderful family. I'm so truly blessed. Thank you for sending us your son, Lord. Thank you for your countless blessings!! (**We also found out that my partner, myself and the entire Heidel/Miller/Semmann/Harte clan will be taking our holiday festivities down to Playa del Carmen in the Riviera Maya in 2013!! WOOWOOOO!!!! Just the motivation I need to stay on track and get my ass in shape!!)
