Hey dudes. Sorry I've been absent for such a long time here. I've been going through quite a bit...
As many of you may already know, my Dad had a heart attack on May 20th at age 56. With no prior heart health issues, and no family heart health history, this came as a massive shock. Upon arriving to St. Joe's here in town, they knew what was happening, and shipped him immediately down to Froedtert. He was taken into surgery upon arrival. Fortunately, he was able to receive all treatment through the cath lab.
His attack occurred in a small off-shoot of the right coronary artery. The surgeon who performed his procedure told us that if you are going to have a heart attack, this is where you want to have it (minimal damage, etc.). However, the vessel was 99% blocked. If he would have waited another hour or so for treatment, this attack would have been fatal. They cleared out as much of the plaque as they could, and inserted a stent to create blood flow. He remained in ICU for a few days, then was moved to the cardiac wing for a few days after.
He has been at home now since May 24th, and is doing very well! He's adapting well to his new diet and lifestyle changes and to his medications. Now, it's just a matter of making sure myself, my partner, my Mom and my sisters keep on him to take it easy! If you know my father, he does not sit down for any amount of time exceeding five minutes. LOL!!
Work has also been extremely busy for both myself and my partner. Usually, this is our busiest time of the year. But with all of the curve balls that have been thrown at us, due to my Dad's health, we've been even more busy filling his shoes. And let me tell you that we've all developed a new sense of appreciation for my father, as we've been picking up his slack these last few weeks.
We've also been able to see more of my partner's daughter these past few weeks and spend time with her. It has truly been incredible. We got to see her become confirmed in the Christian faith, and we got to see her graduate the 8th grade!! We are so very proud of her, and were so glad to be a part of such big moments in her young life. We even got to see her on her 14th birthday, and even took her on a shopping and lunch trip! I've never seen my partner happier. We are so blessed to have been able to receive these precious and rare opportunities to be part of her life in a more normal fashion, and I pray that this is a sign of things to come in our relationship with her - especially for her sake.
My baby sister has been in England and Ireland the past few weeks. She finally returned home, safe and sound, last nite! She was gone during my Dad's health scare, which was really hard for all of us. So, it feels good to have her home. She had a great time!!
Our schedule doesn't look to slow down for the next few months either! Between work, graduations, weddings, birthdays, babies, trips, Summerfest, etc., I'll be shocked to make it out of Summer 2013 in one piece!! LOL! But I'm excited for lots of fun, new, exciting adventures with the people I love most. Hopefully this summer is the best yet!
Now that I've been able to catch you up a bit, I must say goodbye. I will post updates as often as I can. I pray you all have a fun, safe and blessed summer!!
Until next time...
#meow
#filthyneversleeps
#stayclassy
Monday, June 3, 2013
Thursday, April 18, 2013
4.15.13
I will only comment briefly on this subject, because I'm still in complete shock and disgust over the entire situation. To my buddies in Boston; to Nycole and her husband (who were there running the marathon); to the rest of the marathon participants, and the friends and families of the wounded and deceased; to the City and people of Boston in general: My prayers are with you. My thoughts are with you. You have set an extraordinary example to the world, Boston. You have shown the world in these past days what being an American is all about. Boston was not built to break. The people of Boston are some of the toughest and hardest working around. Clearly, whomever was responsible for this was absolutely delusional. I think Colbert said it best. Please watch the video below...
"...As the president said, 'We don't know who did this, but they will be found and they will be brought to justice'. But whoever did this obviously did not know shit about the people of Boston, because nothing these terrorists do is going to shake them. For Pete's sake, Boston was founded by the Pilgrims - a people so tough they had to buckle their God damn hats on! It is the cradle of the American Revolution; a city that withstood an 86 year losing streak; a city that made it through 'The Big Dig' - a construction project that backed up traffic for 16 years! There are commuters just getting home now! Even their bands are tough. It's the hometown of Aerosmith, who, in their 5th decade, are still going strong. Even Steven Tyler looks fantastic, for a 73 year old woman. But here's what these cowards really don't get: they attacked the Boston Marathon - an event celebrating people who run 26 miles on their day off until their nipples are raw, for fun. And they've been holding it in Boston since 1897. And do you know how tough you have to be to run in a whale-boned corset? And when those bombs went off, there were runners, who, after finishing a marathon, kept running another 2 miles to the hospital to donate blood. So, here's what I know: these maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do is show just how good those people are."
God bless Boston. God bless America. God bless all of you.
#oneboston
"...As the president said, 'We don't know who did this, but they will be found and they will be brought to justice'. But whoever did this obviously did not know shit about the people of Boston, because nothing these terrorists do is going to shake them. For Pete's sake, Boston was founded by the Pilgrims - a people so tough they had to buckle their God damn hats on! It is the cradle of the American Revolution; a city that withstood an 86 year losing streak; a city that made it through 'The Big Dig' - a construction project that backed up traffic for 16 years! There are commuters just getting home now! Even their bands are tough. It's the hometown of Aerosmith, who, in their 5th decade, are still going strong. Even Steven Tyler looks fantastic, for a 73 year old woman. But here's what these cowards really don't get: they attacked the Boston Marathon - an event celebrating people who run 26 miles on their day off until their nipples are raw, for fun. And they've been holding it in Boston since 1897. And do you know how tough you have to be to run in a whale-boned corset? And when those bombs went off, there were runners, who, after finishing a marathon, kept running another 2 miles to the hospital to donate blood. So, here's what I know: these maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do is show just how good those people are."
God bless Boston. God bless America. God bless all of you.
#oneboston
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Absentee.
WELL...I suppose it's been a minute since I've last graced you with my presence; almost 3 months to be exact! YIKES! Sorry. Lots of happenings happening in my life lately. I've been quite the busy bee. But that is a good thing. It keeps me honest and keeps me out of trouble. LOL!
Winter is always a difficult time for me, emotionally and psychologically. While I have been seasonal affective since I can remember, winter time happens to be when everything horrible in my life (aside from my divorce) has happened. No kidding. Seven years ago in February, I lost my Papa (grandfather) to sarcoma cancer. Every time I've landed in treatment for my eating disorder, it has been in winter. On January 20th, we remembered my Auntie Jennifer and the 5 year anniversary of her sudden, tragic, seemingly unnecessary death. And then six days later on January 26th, we had to celebrate her 49th birthday without her, which, coincidentally, was the 5 year anniversary of laying her to rest. Needless to say, every time that week comes, it's quite the hum-dinger. I miss her every single day. Her passing changed everything for me; it changed everything for our family quite literally speaking. I never want a reason to be angry with God. But, even now, I do really hope He knows what He did and why, because we sure as hell don't! With that said, I do know that her passing did change me for the better. It truly did. Sadly, she was not here on earth to see those changes. But if she has been watching from heaven, I hope she'd be proud. She was quite the incredible woman. She was so full of life, light, love and laughter. She would light up even the darkest room just by being in it. Any family party or gathering or even just dinner would just get that much better if she was there. Words simply cannot explain it. Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can still picture her sitting in a chair, laughing her obnoxious, loud, infectious laugh, propping her toes up and jumping in her seat just a bit. She did it every time. It probably doesn't make any sense to any of you reading that. But to any of you that had the privilege to know her, you probably know exactly what I'm talking about. She was an incredible mother and wife. She was a caring, talented, dedicated, wonderful teacher and principal. Her former students and colleagues, to this day, just rave about the person she was and how she truly changed each of their lives. She was a loyal, loving and devoted friend. You could tell just by how many friends she had! More important, however, even if you had just had a brief 5 minute encounter with her, she made you feel like you had been friends for years! That's just the kind of person she was. She always believed in the silver lining; to always look for the good in others and bleak circumstances. She believed in paying it forward. She promoted positivity no matter what life throws at you. She believed in giving people the benefit of the doubt. She was always honest and straight forward, while remaining loyal and supportive. She simply loved to live and it showed. I'm not going to carry on with this because I really need to stop my crying so I can get through the rest of my day. But I do miss her every day. That will never change. I will always love her - my aunt, my Godmother, my friend.
On top of all of that, it's cold. I can't handle the cold like I used to. It takes me hours just to warm up now. So, anytime that Spring would like to show up, that would be fabulous.
Other than that, just work, work and more work. My family bought a small apartment complex to flip and rent recently, in addition to renovating the main location of their company - so there's been lots of work related stuff these last few months. My partner's mother and sister have been going through some health related issues - so that has been a bit worrisome and stressful. But, we're just taking things day by day and making the best out of our current circumstances; living life according to The Serenity Prayer.
We had a pretty low-key New Years. We went to Bennihana for dinner, did some late nite/early morning drinks with a friend and then got a nice room in Downtown Milwaukee to get some sleep and have some alone time. Valentine's Day and St. Paddy's were low-key too. We just stayed in and made dinner and stayed sober. LOL! I can't handle the crowds like I used to. It's a blast from time to time, don't get me wrong. But I just cannot hang like I used to. I'm getting old, which is pretty depressing. However, I'm becoming more responsible, which is good for me and everyone I keep close.
Next up is my birthday. I officially enter the "late 20's/early 30's" demographic in a couple weeks. UGH. I'm not diggin' it. Not even a little bit. So, to combat the premature aging and slowing metabolism and all that fun stuff, I've begun returning to my reduced calorie diet and Herbalife/Visalus smoothies, taking a supplement regimen and I be up in the gym just workin' on my fitness (sung like Fergie). I've also cut out soda again, which feels incredible. I'm also quitting smoking! YAY!! I'm down to just 2-3 smokes a day!! I'm really proud of myself. I've also been eliminating junk food and focusing on whole food snacks and increasing my water intake. Overall, I'm feeling pretty okay! I'm sure once I've been more consistent and been at it again for a longer stretch, I'll feel even more impeccable. I'll keep y'all updated.
Well, I think that about sums up these last few months. It seems more entertaining in writing than it has been in real life. Hahaha! It has truly flown by. I promise not to be so few and far between again in my blogs.
Until next time, kittens...
Do well; be well.
#stayclassy#filthyneversleeps
#meow
Winter is always a difficult time for me, emotionally and psychologically. While I have been seasonal affective since I can remember, winter time happens to be when everything horrible in my life (aside from my divorce) has happened. No kidding. Seven years ago in February, I lost my Papa (grandfather) to sarcoma cancer. Every time I've landed in treatment for my eating disorder, it has been in winter. On January 20th, we remembered my Auntie Jennifer and the 5 year anniversary of her sudden, tragic, seemingly unnecessary death. And then six days later on January 26th, we had to celebrate her 49th birthday without her, which, coincidentally, was the 5 year anniversary of laying her to rest. Needless to say, every time that week comes, it's quite the hum-dinger. I miss her every single day. Her passing changed everything for me; it changed everything for our family quite literally speaking. I never want a reason to be angry with God. But, even now, I do really hope He knows what He did and why, because we sure as hell don't! With that said, I do know that her passing did change me for the better. It truly did. Sadly, she was not here on earth to see those changes. But if she has been watching from heaven, I hope she'd be proud. She was quite the incredible woman. She was so full of life, light, love and laughter. She would light up even the darkest room just by being in it. Any family party or gathering or even just dinner would just get that much better if she was there. Words simply cannot explain it. Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can still picture her sitting in a chair, laughing her obnoxious, loud, infectious laugh, propping her toes up and jumping in her seat just a bit. She did it every time. It probably doesn't make any sense to any of you reading that. But to any of you that had the privilege to know her, you probably know exactly what I'm talking about. She was an incredible mother and wife. She was a caring, talented, dedicated, wonderful teacher and principal. Her former students and colleagues, to this day, just rave about the person she was and how she truly changed each of their lives. She was a loyal, loving and devoted friend. You could tell just by how many friends she had! More important, however, even if you had just had a brief 5 minute encounter with her, she made you feel like you had been friends for years! That's just the kind of person she was. She always believed in the silver lining; to always look for the good in others and bleak circumstances. She believed in paying it forward. She promoted positivity no matter what life throws at you. She believed in giving people the benefit of the doubt. She was always honest and straight forward, while remaining loyal and supportive. She simply loved to live and it showed. I'm not going to carry on with this because I really need to stop my crying so I can get through the rest of my day. But I do miss her every day. That will never change. I will always love her - my aunt, my Godmother, my friend.
On top of all of that, it's cold. I can't handle the cold like I used to. It takes me hours just to warm up now. So, anytime that Spring would like to show up, that would be fabulous.
Other than that, just work, work and more work. My family bought a small apartment complex to flip and rent recently, in addition to renovating the main location of their company - so there's been lots of work related stuff these last few months. My partner's mother and sister have been going through some health related issues - so that has been a bit worrisome and stressful. But, we're just taking things day by day and making the best out of our current circumstances; living life according to The Serenity Prayer.
We had a pretty low-key New Years. We went to Bennihana for dinner, did some late nite/early morning drinks with a friend and then got a nice room in Downtown Milwaukee to get some sleep and have some alone time. Valentine's Day and St. Paddy's were low-key too. We just stayed in and made dinner and stayed sober. LOL! I can't handle the crowds like I used to. It's a blast from time to time, don't get me wrong. But I just cannot hang like I used to. I'm getting old, which is pretty depressing. However, I'm becoming more responsible, which is good for me and everyone I keep close.
Next up is my birthday. I officially enter the "late 20's/early 30's" demographic in a couple weeks. UGH. I'm not diggin' it. Not even a little bit. So, to combat the premature aging and slowing metabolism and all that fun stuff, I've begun returning to my reduced calorie diet and Herbalife/Visalus smoothies, taking a supplement regimen and I be up in the gym just workin' on my fitness (sung like Fergie). I've also cut out soda again, which feels incredible. I'm also quitting smoking! YAY!! I'm down to just 2-3 smokes a day!! I'm really proud of myself. I've also been eliminating junk food and focusing on whole food snacks and increasing my water intake. Overall, I'm feeling pretty okay! I'm sure once I've been more consistent and been at it again for a longer stretch, I'll feel even more impeccable. I'll keep y'all updated.
Well, I think that about sums up these last few months. It seems more entertaining in writing than it has been in real life. Hahaha! It has truly flown by. I promise not to be so few and far between again in my blogs.
Until next time, kittens...
Do well; be well.
#stayclassy#filthyneversleeps
#meow
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Belated.
Hello monsters.
It's been a pretty busy last few weeks here. Lots happening and lots to talk about...
First, MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HANUKKAH!! I hope y'all enjoyed your holiday as much as I did. The few days off of work was much needed and much deserved. I got some pretty cool stuff: a brand new North Face from my folks, my Clay Matthews jersey (finally!!!), a whole mess of gift cards, some money, a pair of of Swarovski angel wings from my grandma, some new jeans and some new moccs...and that's just a short list. The two most special things I got though were from my partner and his sister, brother-in-law and nephews. His sister and her family got us our very first Christmas tree ornament! It's too cute (see upper left picture). I need a new one every year now!!! My partner made me a heart shaped engraved jewelry box (see picture to the right). I actually cried. I was so moved. I love him so very much. But, HANDS DOWN, the best gift I got this year was lots of time and fun memories with the love of my life and my amazing, wonderful family. I'm so truly blessed. Thank you for sending us your son, Lord. Thank you for your countless blessings!! (**We also found out that my partner, myself and the entire Heidel/Miller/Semmann/Harte clan will be taking our holiday festivities down to Playa del Carmen in the Riviera Maya in 2013!! WOOWOOOO!!!! Just the motivation I need to stay on track and get my ass in shape!!)
Second, I need to address a few things regarding the tragedy that occurred in Newtown, CT nearly two weeks ago. First and foremost, my heart, my thoughts and my prayers continue to be with the victims, their families, friends and loved ones, the survivors of Sandy Hook Elementary School and the first responders. My heart aches and bleeds for them; my eyes have shed countless tears. There are many political agendas that have and will continue to arise in wake of this senseless massacre and I will not get into those now. I can and will discuss those P.O.V.'s at a different time. However, I will address the media and how furious and disgusted I am with how they handled the entire coverage of the situation. Granted that when things like this happen, they are extremely fluid situations in the days, weeks and even months to follow. Lots of information is transferred and received from countless sources, and, truly, the media is a supply and demand business. BUT when you are giving out such incorrect and inaccurate information to the general public (i.e. releasing the name, residence and photo of an innocent person that you claim to be the perpetrator without ANY appropriate law enforcement confirmation), that IS NOT okay. 1st Amendment rights my ass! Not only did they disclose information and bring accusations about an innocent person, they did it to the brother of the actual guilty party! So not only has his reputation and privacy been violated and exploited, he has to live with such a weight that his own blood shed the blood of so many children and women, including his mother and himself! I truly hope that young man files a lawsuit because that was totally out of line. Also, this interviewing of children. Really? I mean, REALLY? I'm sorry but I'm so sickened that the media and the parents of these children put these traumatized little ones in that position - to recall something they should have never gone through in the first place. ANYTHING for a story, a bottom line and a little limelight, I suppose. Ugh...it's enough to make me gag. There's so much about this horrific tragedy that makes me cringe. But for now, I want to continue to focus on the lives of these precious, innocent children and the brave women that paid the price so that their memory will live on forever. We will NEVER forget.
Third, my prayers and condolences with the family of Jennifer Sebena, the Wauwatosa Police Officer that was gunned down in the early morning of Christmas Eve. Sadly, it has come to show today that police have taken her husband into custody and charged him with 1st degree intentional homicide. The local media hasn't released a ton of information about him, only that he was a Marine, that he served two tours in Iraq and that he was wounded during his second. Time will tell his motive or maybe if this could be a result of serious PTSD. Who knows. All I know is that something has to be truly wrong with a human being and their psyche in order to commit such violence against a woman or a child. We are seeing too much of this in 2012. I hope and pray that everyone add more patience, kindness, respect, empathy and love to their 2013 New Years Resolutions. It would make the world a much better and a more peaceful place to be.
This weekend should be an exciting one!! My dear friend/cousin/sister from a different womb and her fiance are tying the knot on Saturday and it's going to be one hell of a party!!! I can't wait! Then a few days of R&R for me and my partner will follow. I'm currently trying to sneak a few extra days off so we can possibly get away for a little bit. LOL!! Wish me luck...
Well, if I don't get back on this thang before the 31st, I wish you all the very best of life in 2013. I wish you all happiness, health, love, patience, understanding, security and multitudes of blessings from above. Be safe and responsible and have a hella good time if you are planning on celebrating!! LOTS of parties and fun stuff going down, so maybe I'll see many of you out and about in the MKE area. If not, all of my love to you in the new year.
It's been a pretty busy last few weeks here. Lots happening and lots to talk about...
First, MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HANUKKAH!! I hope y'all enjoyed your holiday as much as I did. The few days off of work was much needed and much deserved. I got some pretty cool stuff: a brand new North Face from my folks, my Clay Matthews jersey (finally!!!), a whole mess of gift cards, some money, a pair of of Swarovski angel wings from my grandma, some new jeans and some new moccs...and that's just a short list. The two most special things I got though were from my partner and his sister, brother-in-law and nephews. His sister and her family got us our very first Christmas tree ornament! It's too cute (see upper left picture). I need a new one every year now!!! My partner made me a heart shaped engraved jewelry box (see picture to the right). I actually cried. I was so moved. I love him so very much. But, HANDS DOWN, the best gift I got this year was lots of time and fun memories with the love of my life and my amazing, wonderful family. I'm so truly blessed. Thank you for sending us your son, Lord. Thank you for your countless blessings!! (**We also found out that my partner, myself and the entire Heidel/Miller/Semmann/Harte clan will be taking our holiday festivities down to Playa del Carmen in the Riviera Maya in 2013!! WOOWOOOO!!!! Just the motivation I need to stay on track and get my ass in shape!!)Second, I need to address a few things regarding the tragedy that occurred in Newtown, CT nearly two weeks ago. First and foremost, my heart, my thoughts and my prayers continue to be with the victims, their families, friends and loved ones, the survivors of Sandy Hook Elementary School and the first responders. My heart aches and bleeds for them; my eyes have shed countless tears. There are many political agendas that have and will continue to arise in wake of this senseless massacre and I will not get into those now. I can and will discuss those P.O.V.'s at a different time. However, I will address the media and how furious and disgusted I am with how they handled the entire coverage of the situation. Granted that when things like this happen, they are extremely fluid situations in the days, weeks and even months to follow. Lots of information is transferred and received from countless sources, and, truly, the media is a supply and demand business. BUT when you are giving out such incorrect and inaccurate information to the general public (i.e. releasing the name, residence and photo of an innocent person that you claim to be the perpetrator without ANY appropriate law enforcement confirmation), that IS NOT okay. 1st Amendment rights my ass! Not only did they disclose information and bring accusations about an innocent person, they did it to the brother of the actual guilty party! So not only has his reputation and privacy been violated and exploited, he has to live with such a weight that his own blood shed the blood of so many children and women, including his mother and himself! I truly hope that young man files a lawsuit because that was totally out of line. Also, this interviewing of children. Really? I mean, REALLY? I'm sorry but I'm so sickened that the media and the parents of these children put these traumatized little ones in that position - to recall something they should have never gone through in the first place. ANYTHING for a story, a bottom line and a little limelight, I suppose. Ugh...it's enough to make me gag. There's so much about this horrific tragedy that makes me cringe. But for now, I want to continue to focus on the lives of these precious, innocent children and the brave women that paid the price so that their memory will live on forever. We will NEVER forget.
Third, my prayers and condolences with the family of Jennifer Sebena, the Wauwatosa Police Officer that was gunned down in the early morning of Christmas Eve. Sadly, it has come to show today that police have taken her husband into custody and charged him with 1st degree intentional homicide. The local media hasn't released a ton of information about him, only that he was a Marine, that he served two tours in Iraq and that he was wounded during his second. Time will tell his motive or maybe if this could be a result of serious PTSD. Who knows. All I know is that something has to be truly wrong with a human being and their psyche in order to commit such violence against a woman or a child. We are seeing too much of this in 2012. I hope and pray that everyone add more patience, kindness, respect, empathy and love to their 2013 New Years Resolutions. It would make the world a much better and a more peaceful place to be.
This weekend should be an exciting one!! My dear friend/cousin/sister from a different womb and her fiance are tying the knot on Saturday and it's going to be one hell of a party!!! I can't wait! Then a few days of R&R for me and my partner will follow. I'm currently trying to sneak a few extra days off so we can possibly get away for a little bit. LOL!! Wish me luck...
Well, if I don't get back on this thang before the 31st, I wish you all the very best of life in 2013. I wish you all happiness, health, love, patience, understanding, security and multitudes of blessings from above. Be safe and responsible and have a hella good time if you are planning on celebrating!! LOTS of parties and fun stuff going down, so maybe I'll see many of you out and about in the MKE area. If not, all of my love to you in the new year.
Until next time, kittens...
#stayclassy
#filthyneversleeps
#meow
#stayclassy
#filthyneversleeps
#meow
LOL!!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
The Fine Print.
Hello nuggets...
As many of you are well aware, I have struggled with anorexia, bulimia, BDD & BED for over 13 years now (over half of my life). I am a strong activist and supporter of NEDA, OA, ABA and eating disorder awareness, prevention and treatment. While I have now been purge free for just over a year (hooray for me!!), the illness I have suffered and the choices I have made affect my everyday health and will continue to effect my health in the long term. When you're in the disease, there are a lot of symptoms and consequences that you become oblivious to or block out completely due to the dysmorphia and denial. From hair loss to odd hair growth; to kidney/liver/pancreatic/cardiac malfunction, abnormality and infection; to hypokalemia; to esophageal deterioration and distress; to bladder incapacity; to constipation; to hypothalamic dysfunction; to low blood pressure; to acid reflux; to osteopenia; to memory loss; to secondary amenorrhoea and menorrhagia; to muscle atrophy; to sleep and conscious apnea; to pigment loss; to severe chronic and acute dehydration - I've had to suffer through and see it all and still, sadly, have to continue to struggle with almost all of these things probably for the rest of my life. Some things have gotten better. Fortunately, I'm still alive and I still have all of my teeth in tact and in pretty tip top shape (most ED afflicted aren't as lucky). Those are many of the physical ailments I have endured. I haven't even touched the psychological and social aspects (drug addiction, isolation, suicidal ambition - all of which I have successfully conquered). I still, however, deal with depression, anxiety, "ED Head", etc.
I wish I could go back to "middle school Megan" and tell/show her the future shitstorm that would ensue. I would show her even the dumb little things that NO ONE would ever consider. I would show her that because of my actions, days like today, it takes me HOURS just to warm up after only standing outside for five minutes. How dumb does that sound? Would ANYONE ever think of such things being a future consequence to their choices? There should be fine print for eating disorders and it should have come to me all those years ago.
Until next time, kittens...
#stayclassy
#flithyneversleeps
#meow
As many of you are well aware, I have struggled with anorexia, bulimia, BDD & BED for over 13 years now (over half of my life). I am a strong activist and supporter of NEDA, OA, ABA and eating disorder awareness, prevention and treatment. While I have now been purge free for just over a year (hooray for me!!), the illness I have suffered and the choices I have made affect my everyday health and will continue to effect my health in the long term. When you're in the disease, there are a lot of symptoms and consequences that you become oblivious to or block out completely due to the dysmorphia and denial. From hair loss to odd hair growth; to kidney/liver/pancreatic/cardiac malfunction, abnormality and infection; to hypokalemia; to esophageal deterioration and distress; to bladder incapacity; to constipation; to hypothalamic dysfunction; to low blood pressure; to acid reflux; to osteopenia; to memory loss; to secondary amenorrhoea and menorrhagia; to muscle atrophy; to sleep and conscious apnea; to pigment loss; to severe chronic and acute dehydration - I've had to suffer through and see it all and still, sadly, have to continue to struggle with almost all of these things probably for the rest of my life. Some things have gotten better. Fortunately, I'm still alive and I still have all of my teeth in tact and in pretty tip top shape (most ED afflicted aren't as lucky). Those are many of the physical ailments I have endured. I haven't even touched the psychological and social aspects (drug addiction, isolation, suicidal ambition - all of which I have successfully conquered). I still, however, deal with depression, anxiety, "ED Head", etc.
I wish I could go back to "middle school Megan" and tell/show her the future shitstorm that would ensue. I would show her even the dumb little things that NO ONE would ever consider. I would show her that because of my actions, days like today, it takes me HOURS just to warm up after only standing outside for five minutes. How dumb does that sound? Would ANYONE ever think of such things being a future consequence to their choices? There should be fine print for eating disorders and it should have come to me all those years ago.
Until next time, kittens...
#stayclassy
#flithyneversleeps
#meow
Monday, December 3, 2012
Jackpot.
Hello homiez. Sorry it's been a while. I've had a busy and exciting past few days! To those of you who are my FB pals, this blog will probably sound like a broken record so if you choose not to read this, I will not be offended in the least. But guess who put $20 into a quarter slot machine at Potowonami, got down to $1.75 and ended up walking away $760 richer? Oh yeah...THAT WOULD BE ME!!!! You guys, I can't describe that feeling. Yeah, sure...it wasn't a million dollars. But really, who's going to complain about earning an extra $760 sitting on a chair for 10-15 minutes? I sure as hell ain't! I would like to think it was all karma from not winning the Power Ball last week like I was supposed to. LOL!! But no, really...it was quite incredible. I immediately cashed out and ran (yes, almost a full sprint) over to my partner and his cousin who were at another table playing a card game. We all took a double take at that ticket!! When my partner said, "Way to go, babe. I'm proud of you", that's when it became real. That's the moment I realized I wasn't seeing things. But walking around a casino at 3am surrounded by mostly weirdos with that much loot in your clutch is quite flustering. I have never wanted to get out of a place faster in my entire life. LOL!! This money came at a VERY good time for my partner and myself. We had both just gotten paid on Friday from work and we both had several things we needed to pay off. I took all my winnings (except for a little cash I left out for myself) to the bank right away that morning. Most of all, I'm excited to have more than enough money to be able to buy Christmas gifts for the people I love. There is nothing I love more than watching the people I love most open a gift I put all of my thought and heart into and watching the looks on their faces. For me, giving is WAY better than receiving. I've always felt that way. But now the challenge is what the hell to get everyone! The people God has placed in my life, I swear, are the hardest people in the entire world to shop for! Hahahaha!!! I try to be creative whenever possible, but sometimes that is a challenge too. But we shall see. I will begin my gift research today.
And a very happy 5th birthday to a very special little man this past Friday. Your Daddy and I love you and miss you very much.
Until next time, kittens...
#stayclassy
#filthyneversleeps
#meow
And a very happy 5th birthday to a very special little man this past Friday. Your Daddy and I love you and miss you very much.
Until next time, kittens...
#stayclassy
#filthyneversleeps
#meow
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Misery Business.
Good morning darlings...
Today, I have decided to start fresh. For the last year or so now, I have been reading the public blog belonging to the mother of my partner's daughter. Many of you have been reading it too and have been getting just as nauseated from it as I have been. The only reason I ever started reading it was to keep tabs on the well-being of a very special little girl - her progress and her life - since her mother has been withholding her from her father. But my simple plan of just "checking in" turned into so much more as I read further into her writings. It has managed to ruin my life and my attitude. It has caused me to act out in response and maybe even say some things that I shouldn't have said. The fact that I even played into the rants, ramblings and, pardon my French, the complete and utter bullshit of such a homicidal schizo-sociopath was one of the biggest mistakes I could have ever made. While I'm glad I made myself aware of the person she is, I refuse to allow her to continue to ruin my life. She has already ruined my partner's and his daughter's lives enough. I will no longer support her exploitation of their lives and I will no longer allow her to exploit mine. Today, I will no longer be reading her non-sense. Well, I may check in once in a while to see if there is anything new on my partner's daughter. But that is it. I will no longer comment on her blogs. I will no longer read so far into them that they break me down into tears. I will use my energy, instead, to continue to help my partner in his not-so-easy quest to, once again, be united with his baby girl. I will use my energy to remain the positive person I always was before she attempted to knock me down. I will use my energy to be thankful for what I have and who I have. Life is far too short to do otherwise.
But, if any of you guys are interested in reading a blog chock full of whining, complaining, exploitative lies, bitching, homophobic agendas, homicidal plots and horrifying grammar, PLEASE, continue to read it. LOL!! Enjoy yourselves.
Until next time, kittens...
#stayclassy
#filthyneversleeps
#meow
Today, I have decided to start fresh. For the last year or so now, I have been reading the public blog belonging to the mother of my partner's daughter. Many of you have been reading it too and have been getting just as nauseated from it as I have been. The only reason I ever started reading it was to keep tabs on the well-being of a very special little girl - her progress and her life - since her mother has been withholding her from her father. But my simple plan of just "checking in" turned into so much more as I read further into her writings. It has managed to ruin my life and my attitude. It has caused me to act out in response and maybe even say some things that I shouldn't have said. The fact that I even played into the rants, ramblings and, pardon my French, the complete and utter bullshit of such a homicidal schizo-sociopath was one of the biggest mistakes I could have ever made. While I'm glad I made myself aware of the person she is, I refuse to allow her to continue to ruin my life. She has already ruined my partner's and his daughter's lives enough. I will no longer support her exploitation of their lives and I will no longer allow her to exploit mine. Today, I will no longer be reading her non-sense. Well, I may check in once in a while to see if there is anything new on my partner's daughter. But that is it. I will no longer comment on her blogs. I will no longer read so far into them that they break me down into tears. I will use my energy, instead, to continue to help my partner in his not-so-easy quest to, once again, be united with his baby girl. I will use my energy to remain the positive person I always was before she attempted to knock me down. I will use my energy to be thankful for what I have and who I have. Life is far too short to do otherwise.
But, if any of you guys are interested in reading a blog chock full of whining, complaining, exploitative lies, bitching, homophobic agendas, homicidal plots and horrifying grammar, PLEASE, continue to read it. LOL!! Enjoy yourselves.
Until next time, kittens...
#stayclassy
#filthyneversleeps
#meow
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)