WELL...I suppose it's been a minute since I've last graced you with my presence; almost 3 months to be exact! YIKES! Sorry. Lots of happenings happening in my life lately. I've been quite the busy bee. But that is a good thing. It keeps me honest and keeps me out of trouble. LOL!
Winter is always a difficult time for me, emotionally and psychologically. While I have been seasonal affective since I can remember, winter time happens to be when everything horrible in my life (aside from my divorce) has happened. No kidding. Seven years ago in February, I lost my Papa (grandfather) to sarcoma cancer. Every time I've landed in treatment for my eating disorder, it has been in winter. On January 20th, we remembered my Auntie Jennifer and the 5 year anniversary of her sudden, tragic, seemingly unnecessary death. And then six days later on January 26th, we had to celebrate her 49th birthday without her, which, coincidentally, was the 5 year anniversary of laying her to rest. Needless to say, every time that week comes, it's quite the hum-dinger. I miss her every single day. Her passing changed everything for me; it changed everything for our family quite literally speaking. I never want a reason to be angry with God. But, even now, I do really hope He knows what He did and why, because we sure as hell don't! With that said, I do know that her passing did change me for the better. It truly did. Sadly, she was not here on earth to see those changes. But if she has been watching from heaven, I hope she'd be proud. She was quite the incredible woman. She was so full of life, light, love and laughter. She would light up even the darkest room just by being in it. Any family party or gathering or even just dinner would just get that much better if she was there. Words simply cannot explain it. Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can still picture her sitting in a chair, laughing her obnoxious, loud, infectious laugh, propping her toes up and jumping in her seat just a bit. She did it every time. It probably doesn't make any sense to any of you reading that. But to any of you that had the privilege to know her, you probably know exactly what I'm talking about. She was an incredible mother and wife. She was a caring, talented, dedicated, wonderful teacher and principal. Her former students and colleagues, to this day, just rave about the person she was and how she truly changed each of their lives. She was a loyal, loving and devoted friend. You could tell just by how many friends she had! More important, however, even if you had just had a brief 5 minute encounter with her, she made you feel like you had been friends for years! That's just the kind of person she was. She always believed in the silver lining; to always look for the good in others and bleak circumstances. She believed in paying it forward. She promoted positivity no matter what life throws at you. She believed in giving people the benefit of the doubt. She was always honest and straight forward, while remaining loyal and supportive. She simply loved to live and it showed. I'm not going to carry on with this because I really need to stop my crying so I can get through the rest of my day. But I do miss her every day. That will never change. I will always love her - my aunt, my Godmother, my friend.
On top of all of that, it's cold. I can't handle the cold like I used to. It takes me hours just to warm up now. So, anytime that Spring would like to show up, that would be fabulous.
Other than that, just work, work and more work. My family bought a small apartment complex to flip and rent recently, in addition to renovating the main location of their company - so there's been lots of work related stuff these last few months. My partner's mother and sister have been going through some health related issues - so that has been a bit worrisome and stressful. But, we're just taking things day by day and making the best out of our current circumstances; living life according to The Serenity Prayer.
We had a pretty low-key New Years. We went to Bennihana for dinner, did some late nite/early morning drinks with a friend and then got a nice room in Downtown Milwaukee to get some sleep and have some alone time. Valentine's Day and St. Paddy's were low-key too. We just stayed in and made dinner and stayed sober. LOL! I can't handle the crowds like I used to. It's a blast from time to time, don't get me wrong. But I just cannot hang like I used to. I'm getting old, which is pretty depressing. However, I'm becoming more responsible, which is good for me and everyone I keep close.
Next up is my birthday. I officially enter the "late 20's/early 30's" demographic in a couple weeks. UGH. I'm not diggin' it. Not even a little bit. So, to combat the premature aging and slowing metabolism and all that fun stuff, I've begun returning to my reduced calorie diet and Herbalife/Visalus smoothies, taking a supplement regimen and I be up in the gym just workin' on my fitness (sung like Fergie). I've also cut out soda again, which feels incredible. I'm also quitting smoking! YAY!! I'm down to just 2-3 smokes a day!! I'm really proud of myself. I've also been eliminating junk food and focusing on whole food snacks and increasing my water intake. Overall, I'm feeling pretty okay! I'm sure once I've been more consistent and been at it again for a longer stretch, I'll feel even more impeccable. I'll keep y'all updated.
Well, I think that about sums up these last few months. It seems more entertaining in writing than it has been in real life. Hahaha! It has truly flown by. I promise not to be so few and far between again in my blogs.
Until next time, kittens...
Do well; be well.
#stayclassy#filthyneversleeps
#meow
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